open letter to sandy and tricia mcilree

so, i’ve been listening to mix 94.7 on and off since it was party 94.7. i was there when jb and sandy started doing the morning show. when my family moved to omaha in 1998, one of the things i was going to miss was the morning show on 94.7.

i remember when jb and erin were just dating and i remember when raleigh was born. i’ve been through bridget, funky, steak boy, deb, autumn (i really miss autumn), bri and lauren. i’m really pleased with the addition of sarah and cass. i remember when alex was digitz and sandy was sandy rivers.

i remember the big boat movie and to this day i reach for my phone to call whenever the big boat movie is mentioned. i remember the mixes one of the producers (it must have been funky) made of  “my heart will go on” and when another radio station stole the mix and claimed it as their own. i remember when another mix was made and sandy called out “hey! we’re playing it now! start recording!” to the other radio station.

on spring break of my freshman year of high school (about a month after jb and sandy started) i won a contest they put on. listeners needed to call in with a great excuse for not being able to come into work. i was having my tonsils removed that day and decided that was a pretty good reason. i won tickets to a carnival that was in town.

i remember when sandy played rugby and had to tape his ears. i remember seeing a picture of it.

i remember when sandy was NEVER getting married (again) and NEVER having children. i remember being extremely happy to hear that he had proposed to tricia and again when they were expecting. landry is flippin’ adorable.

i remember when one valentines day, a gay man was trying to win one of the last reserved spots for a nice restaurant that jb and sandy had. because they were considering letting the gay man have it, a (now former?) listener wrote in very upset because homosexuality was a sin and he was shocked that jb and sandy would consider helping out this homosexual man.

whenever i call in and the fact that i used to live in omaha, sandy always asks what part of omaha i lived in. when i mention (reluctantly now because i know what is coming) millard, he gives me a hard time because that is the westlake of omaha (for what it’s worth, we lived on the east side of millard which is not like westlake).

i called in when they were discussing high maintenance women and wanted some to call in. some other callers went on before me and when they finally picked up my line, i “chewed” them out for making me wait so long like any high maintenance woman would do.

my in-laws also listen to jb and sandy and my father in law even helped out with the “asian girls eating pluckers hot wings” by offering to pay the $1,000 reward if they could eat all 100(?) hot wings.

some of the things they have done over the past 14 years have made me cringe, but mostly they make me laugh. this morning, however, i was not laughing, i was very sad for a very young girl.

sandy’s wife, tricia, had a baby 10 (11?) weeks ago. last night, they let her cry it out (CIO). here is my open letter to sandy and his wife tricia:

Dear Sandy and Tricia,

As you’ve read above, I’m a big fan of the JB and Sandy Morning Show and have been for years. I’m so happy that Sandy has found someone he can be happy with and that the two of you have a beautiful little girl. I love seeing her pictures via Twitter and love hearing Landry stories.

Raising children is a tough job. It comes with challenges around every corner and you are faced with some very tough decisions. Whatever decision you are faced with, there are thousands of books to tell you why THIS decision is the best one.

You are given advice (whether or not you want it) by doctors who specialize in children, by doctors who specialize in podiatry, by moms, dads, grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, friends and (my all time favorite) people whose only experience in anything “children” comes from what they see on TV. They’ve never so much as looked at a baby in real life, but by golly, they know exactly what you should do when it comes to your kids. Then of course, there’s always the random radio listener with a blog *ahem*. Oh, my other all time favorite is the friend whose cousins neighbors kids teachers ex-husbands step-sister’s dogs fathers owners pen pals daughter had that same problem and this is what they did and it worked within minutes! So it HAS to work with your kid! Oh, you already tried that? And it didn’t work? Well, you did it wrong, because is DOES work!

You catch my drift?

Anyway.

I too have been struck by the sudden need to give un-solicited advice from time to time. I usually can quash that feeling by doing something else as equally unproductive. Sometimes I give-in. I’m afraid to say that this is one of those give-in times and you are the recipient of my very-unsolicited-but-i-have-to-say-something-advice.

Just for the record, I am qualified to give this advice. I have squirted out three of my own kids. I have yet to lose one and as of 8am this morning, none of them have asked to speak to a therapist. I am also the oldest of three, I have a nephew, my best friend has five kids whom I’ve known all their lives (ok, the oldest I met when she was 13 months old, but she’s known me for as long as she can remember), my neighbor has a couple of kids whom I’ve also known all their lives, I babysat as a teen, I was a nanny in Omaha and I play an expert on the internets. I’ve also seen A Baby Story on TLC.

So, onto the actual point of this open letter containing unsolicited advice.

This morning Sandy mentioned that Landry was left to CIO. Now, yes, I understand she wasn’t actually “left”, that you were both still in the room with her while she was screaming “WHY? WHY? WHY?”, but that’s about as useful as water to a dead man. Sandy, if you were in intense pain, would the knowledge that Tricia was in the same room but watching TV be any comfort to you? (Sorry honey, I’m watching the “G.I. Joe” movie [that’s actually an inside joke, my five readers will get it]).

Yes, I understand that you are trying to teach Landry to comfort herself. Seriously, the ONLY thing a 10 week old baby needs to learn is that when she cries, you will be there to help her. She spent nine months in a very dark, very cozy, very small space, give her a while to adjust before you throw her to the wolves! Ten weeks is not enough! Even the “experts” say that if you are going to CIO, wait until they are AT LEAST six months of age. That’s more than twice what she is now!

Now, I’m not a fan of CIO at any age. I never did with my three. At six, five and 13 months, they don’t have problems going to sleep. Sure the older two sometimes grump when it’s bedtime, but they don’t scream and stamp their feet until we let them stay up as late as they want. The 13 month old usually goes to bed without a problem. Sometimes she decides it’s not bedtime when we decide it is, but that is the exception, not the rule. These times we let her stay up a little bit longer and then try again.

My point is that not letting her CIO is not going to set you up for years of a bratty child. She is only going to be a baby once, snuggle her while you can. Let her know that you will always be there for her when she needs you. Right now she needs you to hold her. It won’t kill you.

erin

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Family of Blessings on August 23, 2009 at 4:48 pm

    My 11.5 week old is crying at the thought of another baby crying…all alone just left to cry. 😦 She however, is being snuggled while she cries.

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