what happened?

so, i said it was going to be a week, and i ended up not blogging for almost two months…so where was i?

well, you see, the week had ended, and i was out for an evening stroll when i was suddenly overtaken by a blinding light! suddenly i found myself floating in the air rising higher and higher! the light was so blinding that i couldn’t see anything! when the floating weightlessly through the air sensation ended, i found myself in an empty room save for the bench i was perched upon! across the vast room, a door hissed open and someone waltzed through the room towards me! as they came closer i realized it was me! (i NEED to do something about my hair, and i didn’t realize how fat those pants made me look). “i” started to speak and “i” told me that i was here in search of intelligent life. i then informed “myself” that “i” had the wrong person and “i” needed to go to abigail‘s house. “oh” “i” said. then i was  unceremoniously dropped on my butt back where i had been taken from. what only seemed like a few moments in the mother ship was almost two months in earth time. has anyone heard from abigail lately?

you’re not buying that are you?

ok.

so, i was out on the lake floating around on a tube without a care in the world. suddenly! a ship approached and i found myself scooped up in a large net and plopped rather rudely on the deck of the ship! after the shock, i looked around and found myself surrounded by three dozen smelly, unshaven, dirty (and in desperate need of a dentist) pirates! a man who identified himself as captain duracell announced to me that i had been chosen as the newest member of their crew. obviously, i was not in a position to decline as while he was making his “request” we stopped by the plank. “ok” i answered meekly and we spent the next month stealing candy from babies before i was able to escape by, well, bleeding. the pirates thinking this a bad omen (and obviously having no idea about the inner-workings of a woman’s body) threw me overboard to the sharks. in their haste to be rid of me, they threw me over the side with the rowboat and i spent the next month floating around aimlessly around the lake before i was found delirious by a couple of local fisherman by the shore. before you ask, i was unable to retain any of the candy i had stolen from innocent babies.

no?

a flock of wild geese picked me up and…?

the russian army was searching for a crystal skull and kidnapped me to find it for them?

the house across the street where a crazy old man had died tried to eat me?

my older sister, jane, and i were swept off of our feet (well, she was swept up right away, i was dragged kicking and screaming) by two very wealthy men?

alright fine, i procrastinated. jeez, y’all are no fun whatsoever.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Family of Blessings on August 12, 2009 at 10:35 am

    Uh, you’re right…where did Abigail go? 😉

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