dude, you have some hairy gams!

so we’re going to play games with some friends this afternoon. it coincides with my bi-monthly leg shaving. i detest shaving my legs. it’s one of the reasons i like winter, pants. but, it needs to be done. even during the winter, when my pant legs are puffy because of the long leg hairs, it’s time to break out the lawn mower and tame the jungle.

so angelo found me brushing out the knots (leg hairs are easier to shave sans knots) and incredulously exclaimed

“you’re shaving your legs to go play games?!

and i’m like, “dude, i haven’t shaved them since olivia was born. i’ve started naming the individual hairs which means they are developing personalities and you’ll be lucky if i don’t start saving the named ones because they are now my friends. i mean the baby has a bandage wrapped around her hands becuase she tried to use my nekkid legs as a support to stand up and the leg hairs SLICED HER HAND OPEN! if i tried to board an airplane now they’d be like

“ma’am, we cannot allow you to board this plane due to the fact that your legs are lethal weapons (and not in the sexy or cool butt kicking way) and since razors are not allowed within 1,000 feet of the airport, there is no way you will be able to shave the “harry and the henderson’s” look you’ve got going on below your knees and make it back in time to board your plane. in other words, you are s.o.l. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

and then my family would be going on to paris without me. i’m not sure why we are going to paris since i’ve never had any real desire to go but i could be even more angry at the airport security people-who hate their jobs so much that the only real enjoyment they can squeeze out of it is to be evil and condescending to us the flying public-for not letting go to paris unless i have shaved legs which would scream TOURIST! because for godssakes this is PARIS! where everyone’s legs are HAIRY!”

so then angelo just rolled his eyes and then kindly started the weed wacker for me.


3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by mom on April 29, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    Paris is a very cool city. If you don’t go then I will be happy to take your place 🙂

  2. Ha hahahahaha! The only weird side-effect I had being pregnant with Moira was that I couldn’t shave my legs – if the razor came anywhere near my legs they exploded into a rash. It was very weird. That being said, I will often go the entire winter without shaving because it is like -30oC here and why would I bother when I can’t even take off the long underwear without getting hypothermia? I always tell myself that I will get my legs waxed in the Spring but I can never afford it so I just have to go through a half dozen razors to get back to hairlessness. Seriously, my legs are ridiculous – have you seen the dark curly hair on my head? Imagine that all over my legs. Scary, no?

  3. Posted by Family of Blessings on April 29, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    Dude Erin, you’re so lame. I shave more often than that and I’m pregnant and have to try to fold a freaking basketball in half just to reach! LOL Just teasing…glad you didn’t bring those “razors” to my house. 😉 BTW-movie yes, but don’t think the Lysol thing was a joke and that’s why we’re going during the day and not at night.

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