Archive for April, 2009

dude, you have some hairy gams!

so we’re going to play games with some friends this afternoon. it coincides with my bi-monthly leg shaving. i detest shaving my legs. it’s one of the reasons i like winter, pants. but, it needs to be done. even during the winter, when my pant legs are puffy because of the long leg hairs, it’s time to break out the lawn mower and tame the jungle.

so angelo found me brushing out the knots (leg hairs are easier to shave sans knots) and incredulously exclaimed

“you’re shaving your legs to go play games?!

and i’m like, “dude, i haven’t shaved them since olivia was born. i’ve started naming the individual hairs which means they are developing personalities and you’ll be lucky if i don’t start saving the named ones because they are now my friends. i mean the baby has a bandage wrapped around her hands becuase she tried to use my nekkid legs as a support to stand up and the leg hairs SLICED HER HAND OPEN! if i tried to board an airplane now they’d be like

“ma’am, we cannot allow you to board this plane due to the fact that your legs are lethal weapons (and not in the sexy or cool butt kicking way) and since razors are not allowed within 1,000 feet of the airport, there is no way you will be able to shave the “harry and the henderson’s” look you’ve got going on below your knees and make it back in time to board your plane. in other words, you are s.o.l. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

and then my family would be going on to paris without me. i’m not sure why we are going to paris since i’ve never had any real desire to go but i could be even more angry at the airport security people-who hate their jobs so much that the only real enjoyment they can squeeze out of it is to be evil and condescending to us the flying public-for not letting go to paris unless i have shaved legs which would scream TOURIST! because for godssakes this is PARIS! where everyone’s legs are HAIRY!”

so then angelo just rolled his eyes and then kindly started the weed wacker for me.


i confess…that my family is keeping secrets from me

from a note i found in the truck today:

“angelo, i need new pot!”

from the aidan (age 5) tonight:

“i’m pulling weed!”

apparently my family has been running a lucrative pot growing business behind my back. there’s a few things i’d like to know.

a)why wasn’t i informed of this?

2)where is the money from it?

c)why wasn’t i given any samples? i mean, shouldn’t we know the quality of the ganga we are selling before we sell it to the unsuspecting public? i’m just trying to help out here! WHY IS NOBODY INCLUDING ME?!


*we do not grow weed. we do not roll weed. we do not smoke weed. we do not sample weed. we do not package weed. we do not sell weed. we could not point out a pot plant to you if our lives depended on it.

for lack of a better title: i’m eating twizzlers, RIGHT NOW!

and they are so good.

so the angelo and his dad were slated to go to a food show in fort worth hosted by cd harnett on thursday and then golf with them on friday morning. which means that they were going to be gone for two days. i’m still recovering from his two months of being mostly gone and then of course the nervous breakdown from a couple of weeks ago…i was practically having panic attacks thinking about him being gone for two measly days.

thursday morning rolled around and i went to bed.

seven hours later i’m woken up by the angelo asking if i want to go to the food show with him because the steve was sick and the cook was sick so the angelo and the steve were up at 1am cooking tacos (i hope you didn’t eat tacos thursday morning) and the steve is now feeling worse and is not going to the food show. it’s a three hour drive to fort worth and the angelo has been up since 1am. putting him behind the wheel of a vehicle is like giving him a sleeping pill. there was no way he was going to be driving to fort worth by himself.

my mom (being wonderful) agrees to take the kids. the abigail (also wonderful) offers to take the bigs until 5pm because our kids had not been together for, like, a day and were going through withdrawal. fabulous. the kids were dropped off at their respective temporary homes and the angelo and i were on our way. he drove for the first 20 minutes. after seeing my life flash before my eyes one too many times, i took over.

we lunched at sonic, at some point i drove in a “truck exit only” drive, yadda, yadda, whatever. BAM! we’re there. 20 minutes later we find our parking spot. not only was the will rogers memorial center hosting the food show, but a job fair and a trauma convention all at once. the place was packed to the gills.

so anyway, the food show was really not that interesting. unless, of course you are looking for new product to put into your store. i would like to mention though, seriously, if we said that we are purchasing your product to put into the store, you don’t need to keep trying to sell us on it. seriously.


the drawing at the end of the show, did absolutely nothing for us. lame.

our hotel was next to the “liq-o-rama”. awesome.

our hotel didn’t have small children in it demanding our attention and care. double awesome.

CDH fed us and then we went to bed early because we are old like that, we know how to party, we had been up really early and were tired. well, the angelo slept, i watched mind numbing TV. also really awesome.

it wasn’t my first choice for an impromptu minimini vacation, but i’m not complaining.

thank you mom for housing our children.

thank you abigail for hosting our children.

and for feeding the fish.

and for feeding sam.

and for letting sam out.

did i ever tell you about new year’s day?

nope, i sure didn’t.


so, new year’s day.

angelo and i brought in the new year by sleeping. riveting i know, but angelo was up at 4am new year’s eve and had to be up at 4am again on new year’s day, so staying up until 12am is usually a big fat FAIL! bringing in the new year by myself is not as exciting as it’s cracked up to be, so we sleep, and the new year arrives anyway.

don’t worry, that wasn’t what i’ve been meaning to tell you for the past 3.5 months. it gets better.

this year (well, the end of last year), the angelo’s dad decided that he needed a new year’s tradition. spilling cream on the kitchen floor (switzerland), making noise (poland), devouring 12 grapes (spain) and ringing a bell 108 times (japan) were not good enough for him. oh no, those in fact were pretty tame. no, the man decided that he needed to jump into the pool at noon on new year’s day, thus ensuring that there would be no more siblings for angelo. the angelo and his two brothers were jumping in too…no more grandchildren. also joining in the festivities would be the jerry…and the moira.

the place: in-law’s pool.

the players: steve (father-in-law), angelo, christopher, andrew (brothers-in-law), jerry and moira.

the pool temperature: fifty-five degrees farenheit. yeah. 55 degrees farenheit. that’s 13 degrees celsius.

the object is to jump in and swim to the other end.

the countdown began. the boys and girl awaited with a mixture of fear and excitement. noon came, and everyone jumped in…well…everyone except moira. we watched and cheered as the boys swam to the end of the pool. as soon as they made it, we hear a splash at the other end. we turn in time to see moira’s head disappear under the water only to return a split second later. the look on her face was pretty easy to read… “IT’S FUCKING COLD!”

she was scooped out of the water by her daddy and was quickly wrapped in a warm towel. it wasn’t a minute later when she uttered:

“i want to jump in again!”

but then, you really have to know moira to understand that that really wasn’t too shocking to hear from her. moira was a mermaid in her other life.

so grandpa volunteered to jump in with her again, and this time there was no hesitation on her part.

pictures can be found here.

happy new year.

are you looking at me?


olivia the architect

this morning olivia was playing with her blocks and discovered stacking. watch as she stacks then claps at the excitement.

he annoys me, but man do i love him

nod your head and say “ayup!” with me as i tell you how angelo bugs me.

then throw up as i dive into the mushyness of why i love him.